“Now go away, I really don’t like this” says mother in an angry tone to her son. If you didn’t know the context you would think this is a dramatic day. The opposite is true. What is the case? The boy in question has passed his VMBO and the mother is trying to organize a surprise party for her son. This is not easy; in fact, all this is happening in the middle of lockdown. This television excerpt makes me at least as angry as this mother. But then on her.
Can’t you leave?
The boy leaves for school after the super happy redemption phone call and the mother sees her chance to organize a surprise party. However, the boy returns much earlier than planned. He clearly indicates that he needs to be home; however, it is so important to the mother that it will be a surprise party that she tries all her assets to keep him away for as long as possible: his girlfriend, grandpa and grandma….
Need for rest
That’s not what he needs: he just wants to be home for a while. The boy in question, like me, has ADHD. And on a day when you are told if you have passed you have incredibly intense emotions; fear, sadness, joy. Then it is wonderful (and necessary) to take a moment of rest in a familiar environment. That importance of safety and peace is so incredibly greater than mom’s idea of a surprise party. I get angry just thinking back on this. And don’t get me wrong; this mother’s intentions are great: she wishes her son the best and wants to surprise him. But her idea for a surprise party should never be more important than his need for a moment of peace; just getting your emotions together.
Also happens at children’s parties
What happens here in the television clip in question I also see during my work. Parents imagine all sorts of things that should happen at the children’s party. And not just what needs to be done; ideally, they would like to see it happen exactly as they imagined it:
- Everyone arrives at the same time and starts toasting before they have taken a sip (is difficult with adults; practically impossible with children)
- Everyone comes dressed according to a certain theme
- Exactly at 11 a.m. we stop a grade 8 party and then one more time we all go completely crazy(while half the class stands crying goodbye)
Different but more beautiful
Once I participated in the television program Adam zkt. Eva. If I learned anything there it is that it is best to spring along with the situation you find yourself in. Is the whole class crying? Then it is inappropriate (and impossible) for all of us to jump around for a while. But perhaps this ending is far more beautiful than you could have ever imagined: it’s just different.
Are the letters P, A, R, T and Y falling away from your surprise party? Skip the surprise effect and just make it an amazing and unforgettable party. Go with the flow.
